Diary of Me

photo: fanpop.com

Really, I'm so in love...

I put this up on my status on FB once and I had friend saying things... Well this is not me this time; it's part 2 of Bisi's diary "Should I go? Should I stay?" Enjoy...

Really, I’ve tasted it… oh, how sweet this is! Didn’t know it’s this beautiful… Joy unspeakable… No wonder the wise Solomon described a satisfied desire as a tree of life. Can you believe it… Really, can I? My waiting has not been in vain. “Hmm, let’s know the reason for soliloquy!” you would say.

Once during a “girls time out,” a friend likened Joy to the fruit Apple, I agreed with her then. But today, I believe joy is sweeter, especially when it’s a result of a long time desire of one’s heart…

Hmm… He has been in Abuja a while now, for most of his life, I believe. And I’m a Lagos babe! So, we had to communicate by correspondence and thank God for Facebook; it’s a life saver. We had not seen for the most part of 4 years. Did I say 4? Yes, 4 long years… he came in and as I was helping him settle in, putting away his luggage and all, he was complaining about all he had gone through to get here, how things could work better in the country and all. I sat down in the couch, the back of which he sat on and was looking up at him; listening intently to all he had to say… Then he was done talking, but he still looked distressed. My heart melted and all I could think of was, what to do to calm his distress. What really could be wrong? Is there more, or is this all? How can I help? I just couldn’t bear seeing him distressed as he was… Hmm, love is a read more...

Bisi 02:12-03/07/11

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Should I go? Should I stay?

I used to love Brandy’s version, until I stole my dear friend,  Bisi’s diary… Enjoy!

Questions hard to answer! I’m caught between it all. Going means letting go of what I’ve kept over 6 years. Staying means putting my heart on the line. Which of these is easier to do? I love him, but I’m scared that I’m only playing into his hands. Did I just say “love?” Yes, I did… I finally decided that’s what all this is about. Letting go then, was one of the most painful things my tender heart ever had to endure. Now that there’s a ray of hope, should I just hold on to it… I wonder how things are going to play out. But, can this fragile heart take one more disappointment; can I take yet another letting down, after putting all hopes in this one place? The first letting down was by me, can I ever forgive myself or even him, if he does the letting down this time?

Back then, we had something special… though we never spoke about it. It was nice being around each other… Oh, how much fun we had together! I remember the day I became an Arsenal Fan. I had just finished from a meeting and took a while leaving the meeting venue, on my way out I met him on his way in. He was hurrying down to a viewing centre to watch an Arsenal march against what team was that again? I don’t remember jor! Well, he dragged me along and we watch the match together. During the half time break, he asked me “what football team do you support?” I said none. So, he asked me to become an Arsenal fan. Don’t remember how many games we watch together thereafter… And oh, we won that game, one of the few games I’ve watched Arsenal win… J He took me out for dinner after the game and we walked hand in hand back to class… laughing and chatting in simple… (what do I call that, sef?) Back when life was simple, we just simply enjoyed each other’s read more...

-Bisi 17:30-22/06/11

photo: www.123rf.com

Diary of a Soldier’s wife (looking back 20 yrs)

I used to day dream about being married to a man like Superman; a journalist in the day, and a vigilante at night. At times I would see myself caught in the crossfire between his enemies and his allies. When he finally found me, wasn’t sure it was he; maybe because he was not like my fantasy. I remember looking across the room at his face during an international flight, when a friend asked me about my fiancé. He asked me if we hoped to be together forever and I wondered to myself looking across the room, if I wanted to spend my always with this man that was yet to meet my fantasy. All I could do to keep my friend from probing further was smile sheepishly and nod. Then I changed the topic to how tired I was and I would love to sleep in the next day.

Things changed all of a sudden and before I knew it, I sitting in a van looking at my fiancé getting behind the wheels of an armored personnel carrier. Before zooming off, he blew me a kiss and said he love me. That began a turnaround in my love story; my fantasy could no longer be…

We got married about 4 years after and though I don’t remember the wedding ceremony I do remember how I would hold him in my embrace each time he got back, knowing that I soon would have to say goodbye again. I remember going to read more...

-Amanda 1:29-5/12/11

"God said!"

Recently, I met a guy in a bank and couple of weeks later he told me “God said…” In the space of the few minutes he spent explaining, I asked myself: ‘did God really say? How can “God said” and I didn’t know it?” The guy had an answer for my questions: “maybe you’ve not been listening…” I laughed out loud as his statement took me back in the days…

BJ girl should remember this story… you too ISE… I had met this guy during Thursday service; guess I sat beside him. We exchanged contacts after service; it was those fellowship days when you’re asked to meet with the person on side and follow them up. We followed up alright; he would come around. Oops I’ve forgotten his name. So let’s called him Bro F. He would come around every once a while… That was V10 Moza (that I remember.) He wasn’t stalking but it could be choking. However, I grew fond of him. That comes easy with me; everyone becomes my friend, brother, sister or cousin… (I even had my twin, once a sister, another time a brother.)

Yeah, let’s talk about everyone being family. I visited a friend once in block 1 Faj hall. I easily became friends with the roommates. Mr E. one of the roommates started visiting me, but had issues I didn’t seem to see the basis. He is a lot better now, but just as crazy as ever, so when you see him don’t say I talked him bad. While I was one person that loved bringing people into my spotlight, he didn’t like sharing his. So he would come visit me and we would talk about him, his life, his issues blah blah blah… It was getting boriiiiiiiiiiing. Did we argue or what? We would argue his opinion of himself, mine of him and my remedies were not go area for him. Why then did he stick around? It beats me o! I learnt arguing under his tutelage J But my heart did go out to him, because I understood how real some of his issues were; some serious than he put them. So I would pray for God to reach him and heal his heart.

About his spotlight issues; he sure noticed too quickly how I said “hi” to everyone, called most “sweetie,” pecked a few and hugged most. In his view, I was the one person that hugged the most (that he ever knew.) And oh… I never used to hug him. I’m sorry, but I didn’t have anything againt him, he just hadn’t become “family” yet. He didn’t know that then, so he was more of a grouch around me. He started complaining about how I knew too many and hug way too many people. It was after like the hundredth argument on this same issue, that I realized I hadn’t even hugged him once. Oops… I said “Mr E., is it because I’ve not been hugging you? I will start hugging you from now on.” He said he didn’t wanat my hugs, since they meant nothing to me… Beat that! He did become “family” some two years later; he was such a life saver. (Mr E. if you are reading this; thanks. You’re a godsend)

Away from Mr. E. now, Bro F. came around one day and told me about how they would usually have morning devotions at home. He had been away for about two weeks… While at home, he received a revelation from God during one of their daily devotion times, and “God said…” They prayed about it and his mom asked him to go ahead and speak to the girl in question (that would be me o! Imagine that! J) I was a bit confused, (not a bit, a whole lot confused.) “How would God say, when my heart says something else? How come God said and He did tell me first? Abi, I was not listening ni?” I spent time listening… to what? It was hard to listen because there was somebody else, somewhere else whom I was… (blush… the thought still brings blush to my cheeks…) But…

Time to talk about the object of my thoughts (still can’t stop blushing, really J) He was about my closest pal back then, we would read together, talk for hours after leaving class. And he would see me off to the entrance of my hostel; there we would be still it dawns into a new beautiful day. I’m sure I never used to have nightmares. You would hope that people would just walk by and do as if they didn’t notice anything. NO! They would show it to your face; someone might ask “Seyi, where is M. (assume that’s his name?) I haven’t seen him in class tonight. Is he going to come?” They nearly drove me crazy when he traveled. (I can’t suffer like that again…)  Once while the school was closed, I went to spent Xmas with my close friend, even her sister teased me about the fact that the guy visited only because I was in town, that since they had known each other, M. had never visited them even though they lived in the same town. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the attention, but it would have been more fun if there was really something. Though, at a point in time or another he crept his way into my heart. I’m not sure I can use the ‘L’ word but I did enjoy his company read more...

From my diary… 07:16-210311

photo: definitivesofme.blogspot.com

Stood up at the altar...


Most of us are not unfamiliar with stories like this; a groom left standing by the altar waiting for a bride that is never gonna come. This might come as a shock to most people, but I was one of such brides.

For those who don’t like reading romance, this might be the best place to stop reading… This is definitely a love story. You just might as well continue, since you’ve come this far. By the way, the story has a turn to it.

Earlier this year, I left my groom at the altar and ran away… What was I thinking? I’ll tell you. ‘Yabut…’ ‘What if’ ‘Is this it?’ ‘Can I…’ ‘Well, yes, but…’ My mind was reeling with a lot of uncompleted statements, phrases, questions and comments, as I picked the pen to write. This was our longtime dream. It was going kick off. Couple of minutes earlier, I’d just read the last words of a book I’ve had for about two, three months now. The words were “you will succeed.” Well… Oh, before I go on, permit me, if you will, to tell you about our dreams, how it all started.

I had written JAMB the second time and I wasn’t going stay at home because I didn’t have up to 270 to enter in Accounting. So, I went for the Shortfalls, they call it. The best choice was Foreign Languages. I chose German because it was different but my father thought better of French since we’re surrounded by Francophone countries. So I picked up French, Matric came and went by… Thought about changing courses, as did a lot of others, I picked up another JAMB form, the exams which I never wrote, as something made me decide to face French squarely with all I’ve got.

Second Semester, First Year still hadn’t decided what to do with French after school. At least I needed to them people something else other than “oh, you’ll work at the embassy” “oh, you gonna have to teach” blah blah blah. So we got talking about it. He had been an old Friend, but something happened and we fell… in love my first semester in school. By the way, Greatest IFE! We talked on, then He asked me what I thought about Translation; working as a translator. I thought it was cool, but Journalism was better. Somewhere along the line, I decided I want to make the news, not just report it, except if only I get to report the news way before it happens. So, translation became more attractive than journalism.

I know you’re bored… You can go for tea break, but I sure am not gonna wait for you. read more...

From my diary… 10:30-141211